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Why self-help books don’t work

I love visiting bookstores. Especially the self-help section. And I buy many self-help books, intrigued (and hopeful) by all the beautiful promises they make. You too?

But at the same time, I’m wondering: how is it possible that with all those self-help books out there, and all those online and offline programs, the tsunami of online challenges and with all those coaches, therapists and counsellors, still so many women become stuck, and stay stuck?

It seems that all those self-help books just don’t work.

self-help books


And that’s pretty frustrating. Of course, the current society, all the pressure and stress, all the responsibilities and expectations, and all the balls that need juggling may have to do with this. But I found out that there is also another and often completely ignored reason: we are women!

I guess it won’t surprise you when I say that women and men are different. Our bodies work in a different way, our brains work differently and women have a daily hormonal rollercoaster. And because of all these differences, women need a different approach than men.

People in the health care industry start to become aware that women need different treatments from men. For example, certain heart disease drugs are extremely effective for men, while they can be downright dangerous for women. This means that women and men cannot be treated in the same way.

And this has completely blown my mind: Most of the medicines and treatments have been developed and tested on the male sex. Often on male mice. Because male mice simply don’t have a hormonal cycle that makes them inconsistent instead of steady. Also if you would like to test on females, and have to take into account all those uncontrollable hormones, it would make research very difficult and very expensive. In short, testing on male mice is a lot more practical and cheaper than on female mice. And since it was assumed that if something works well for men it would also work well for women, it wasn’t so necessary to differentiate in research.

This is now slowly beginning to change though, and there is a large lobby for gender-specific health care.

And what is relevant to the body, is also relevant to the mind. Most methods and processes used by coaches and therapists (and thus also in self-help books) are techniques that have been developed, researched and tested on men and the male brain. And the female consciousness and subconsciousness is not considered. So, therefore, for 4 out of 5 women coaching modalities and therapy processes won’t work well enough. Or don’t give lasting results, and at best they are a quick fix or a way to learn to deal with your issues.

Just compare it with a Samsung smartphone and an iPhone. They both do the same thing, both have an extensive Appstore, but the Apps developed for an iPhone do not work on a Samsung and vice versa. And if you get it to work, it takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears.

The same goes for coaching methods. What works well for a man (an iPhone) may not necessarily work well for a woman (a Samsung)! And what quickly helps a man, may become a long, painful and difficult process for a woman (and vice versa). Gender-specific help is not only needed in physical health care, but also in mental, emotional and spiritual help!

So if you really want to let go of your stress and overwhelm, and of feeling lost and stuck. If you are looking for profound and lasting help for your mental and emotional glass ceilings, then go for a female formulated approach.

I can help you with that.

Just schedule your free Game Plan call with me. We will map the gap between where you are right now and where you want to be, and create a Game Plan with assured results. Schedule your complimentary meeting by clicking this link:

Schedule an appointment

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